Ladies and gentlemen, here is the chicken salad recipe you have all been waiting for.

I was calling this ‘Spicy Southwestern Chicken Salad” but may change it to “Montana Style Chicken Salad”. There’s not a single thing in here that has anything to do with Montana, but I figure Big Sky Country could use a gastronome boost.

Cook four pieces of bacon. Set the bacon aside on a paper towel, and when it cools, crumble it up. Pour most of the bacon fat BUT NOT ALL OF IT out and save it for when you make refried beans (AWWWWWWW YEEEAAAAHHHH!). Take four chicken breasts cut into pretty small pieces and cook them in the pan fat. Add a bunch of spices that you have on hand – taco seasoning, salt, pepper, chili powder, blackening seasoning, creole mix, whatever. Toward the end add two or three green peppers cut into small pieces; use something like poblano or pasilla. Also, you can add a chopped onion, but don’t cook it too much. Remove everything to a big bowl, let it cool for a minute, and stir in a cup of mayonnaise, a cup of shredded cheddar cheese, a dozen or so spurts of hot sauce out of a bottle (something like Cholula or Tapatio), and most of a head of finely chopped cilantro. Top with the bacon. Serve.

Here's a picture of a baby with an axe.